Cattay's Journal

Dear Random Person who happened upon my fanfiction.net profile,

I had a very breif blurb about an up-comming story I was kicking around.

You read the blurb found it confusing that I have a character who claims to be psychic --but actually is not --in a ghost story. So confusing in fact that, you PMed me asking me what I meant. And I explained to you that the character was mentally ill, and as such honestly believed herself to be psychic.

You replied that it was stupid and that I should just make her a kick-ass psychic ghost hunter.


Somehow I think you missed the point.

Yes I am ranting again after only three days... why doesn't it stop? Why?

( Cut for frank wording about anal and some ewwwwww )

You know what's really not a good summary? I'll show you:

.

Did you catch that? Yep, that's right. A single, solitary period and nothing else. That's not a summary, that's laziness.

( Mr Cox and Debbie Broots sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-OMG! )

Edited to fix LJ-formatting fail.

Review I got for the first chapter of a multichapter fic: (netspeak and fandom removed)

"I'm interested to see how this can be an Alice/Bob story when Bob and Carol are still together."

Because Bob and Carol are together in canon at the time the story is set?* Just because I selected Alice and Bob from FFN's dropdown menu doesn't mean their other relationships go out the window. Bob/Carol have their own arc to go through and Carol is important in her own right. The hilarious bit is that the fic is labeled Horror/Drama not Romance, so I never promised any pairings in the first place (it happens to be Alice/Bob, but it's not the main plot)

*unless they mean "How will Alice/Bob get together?" in which case: it's only the first chapter. Give me time.

An eating disorder is quite heartbreaking enough, and causes enough drama and trauma to the person suffering it and their loved ones, especially during the initial stages of recovery. You really, REALLY don't need to keep adding childhood trauma after childhood trauma on top of it. An overload of angst has the tendency of deadening the impact of any of it on your readers.

Writing a character say something racist =/= the author being racist. No, really. Authors can write characters with opinions that aren't their own.

Itachi Uchiha did not kill his clan because they confiscated his "In The End" T-shirt and Linkin Park CD.

AUTHOR OF FAIL-

Quite=/=quiet=/=quit.

Thank you.

Dear Specific Author,

Your thought process does seem to work better than most writers who do Teh First Time fics, but there's still something not quite right with your thinking here.

( Cut for sex and headdesk )


Dear Fandom,

( Cur for talk of Ye Olde Buttsecks. And headdesk. )

This applies not only to Draco and not only in slash, but to a bunch of characters in general. When will you people learn that physical size and hair colour has nothing to do with what one likes to do between the sheets?

Okay... your fic is posted in the :: Insert Title :: section of ff.n. It's not really necessary to put "An :: Insert Title:: Fanfiction" in the title of your fanfic. We can see it listed on the :: Insert Title:: page as we browse through that section and it's kind of what we expect to find there.

 If your character's put his arm around another character, then his next move will generally not be to move across the room to sit next to her. Unless, y'know, he's got detachable arms or something.

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

...Warnings go at the start for a reason, when a story has unexpected rape and torture in a chapter putting the warnings for it all in your authors note at the bottom of the chapter seems pointless, your warning me for what ive just read.

Dear various authors I've seen in different fandoms,

I've got some issues with you and spelling and misusing of terms.

( Here are the issues )

Edit: Because I fail at spell-checking obviously XD

My friends and I barely know about Cary Grant, and the only reason I've heard of Jacques Brel (most of them haven't) is because I'm one of the biggest francophiles I know, and this is in the early part of the 21st century. Thus, in the case of a youngish man living about 70 years from now, his girlfriends are unlikely to be comparing him to Cary Grant. Nor is the first francophone singer he names likely to be Jacques Brel unless he's really into French cabaret music. He may well look like Grant, and may just have heard of Brel, but there are likely to be a good few other personalities by then that are more recognisable to him and his friends.

(ETA: Sorry about the Brel nationality mixup guys. I fail.)

Dear Supernatural writers, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. Dean and Sam are legally dead, so if they ended up in a car accident this season, they'd be in a world of a trouble if a doctor referred to them as "Mr. Winchester". The Winchesters have never used their last name when they go to the hospital.


And because of that added "benefit" of them being declared legally dead, they would never be able to use their real last name. Especially since they have a long list of crimes against them.

Edit: Fixed that stupid formatting issue that keeps popping up.

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FMA:B Episode 37 Live Discussion Post & streaming info

Community Announcements
fmagiftexchange Mod Post: How to Post
fullmetal_lims opens Challenge 3 voting
fullmetal_info posts Friday the 18th's Digest

Fanfiction
Oneshot:
Beside Me by remaintobreathe (Roy/Ed, R - NC-17)
The Shortcut by nochick_fics (Havoc/Roy/Ed, R - NC-17)
A Dish of Herbs by tiamatschild (Marcoh, Scar, PG-13)
And The Bells Chime by meredavey (Roy/Ed, manga spoilers, PG-17)
Walk On by melodyic_rhyme (Ling/Ran Fan, PG-13)
Under the Sun by inugrlrayn (Roy/Ed, NC-17)
Multipart:
Calculated Risk, Chapter 2 by nochick_fics (Havoc/Roy, R - NC-17)
Taking the Bait, Chapter 1 by nochick_fics (Roy/Ed, R - NC-17)
Love - The Impossible Science, Chapter 8 by kimba147 (Roy/Ed, PG-13 - NC-17)
Paper in Fire, Chapter 30 by up2late (Roy/Ed, M)
Baptism, Chapter 20 by yamitami (Ed, Russell, Roy, Archer, PG-13 - R)

Individual Questions, Pimping and Miscellaneous
makaiknight hunts for a roleplay partner for Roy/Ed or other pairings
hakukumo has a doujinshi for sale
pleuvoir shares news on the FMA:B dub release
kirarakim recommends a site for buying Japanese released figures

Dear aff writer,

“Harry submits to Voldemort, what will be done to him is a mystery.”

That might have actually been a passable summary on most other sites, were it not for the grammatical error. On adultfanfiction.net, however...

“Harry submits to Voldemort, what will be done to him is a mystery. Abuse, Anal, Angst, BDSM, Bi, Bond, CBT, D/s, Dom, Exhib, Fet, Fist, H/C, HJ, Humil, Inc, M/M, Minor, Moresome, N/C, Oral, Other, Peg, Rim, S&M, Slave, Spank, Tort, Toys, Trans, Violence, WIP, WS.”

No. No, it is not.

But maybe you were cross-posting and just didn't think about it.

Amused,

Me.

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )